I have been reading the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis. Powerful stuff. I was listening in the car on the way home from work yesterday (it is an audio book). I am reflecting over my life while I listen to this book. It really makes you think deep stuff about the opposing side and the demons that are working against you and against God.

Something he said yesterday gave me a vision in my mind -- my Lord Jesus with his hands tied behind his back. And I am the one that tied them. How many times have I suppressed God or the Spirit from working in my life to a greater extent than I have allowed? But I have been doing it all along. "Yes, Lord, could you please help me with this, but I only want you to do it this way and I only want this much." I am so guilty.

How do I remove the bindings? I am scared of the full force of God's power. What if he works in me and around me in ways that I don't understand?

I need your feedback on this one everybody...

Okay, here is the deal. I have always felt that I have a special connection with God in my prayer life. When I pray, I KNOW that he hears me. Beyond a doubt. I feel that I am a very powerful prayer warrior.

Until now, I have chalked this up to a special gift from God. Either he has given me a gift of Faith, in knowing that he hears my pleas to him, or he really does take special care and attention to my cries out to him. Either way, it's good news to me.

Recently, I was thinking about this in relation to my Pride Problem. Maybe I have no special gifts at all in this area. Do I THINK so highly of myself to think that my prayers to God are somehow more important?

Am I so prejudiced to believe that my prayers have a special ranking in God's eyes? Or is it really a gift from God? Your thoughts, comments, and prayers on this topic are greatly appreciated!

I have a problem. It's called pride. I really struggle with this. The funny thing is that I never knew it was a problem until about 6 months ago. The Holy Spirit has revealed several of my faults to me, but I always wondered what they had in common. What is it in me that makes these things harder to deal with? One day unexpectedly, I got the answer.

I was reading a great book about marriage by a christian author. The author suggests that you take a quiet moment and say a prayer to ask God to reveal something about yourself that is hurting your marriage. I closed my eyes tight and said the prayer with an open heart. "Pride." As soon as I had completed the words, I heard it as clearly as if someone was standing right next to me and speaking to me. I was shocked. Not only that it was so clear and precise, but because I never would have guessed that I have this issue. I felt sure it was a mistake. I thought maybe I had projected the sound and thought all in my own mind. I actually decided to not give it much credit.

Since then, God has revealed this to me in small ways. (I think he knows that I don't handle large amounts of personal criticism well. I like small doses.) He daily shows me how I struggle with pride and how it impacts my relationships, my own life, and most of all, my nearness to Him.

Some of this is hard to accept. Pride is not a fun flaw to have. I believe God has a severe hatred in that particular character trait -- don't misunderstand me, He hates the sin, not the person. A person who is full of pride will not give God His due credit. That person loves to receive glory and praise and has a hard time sharing the spotlight, even with God. (Lord, you deserve ALL the glory, ALL the honor, and ALL the praise!)

I have come to believe that God's ability to work in me and through me is hindered by my pride. I think that he will not bless me with many spiritual gifts while I still possess this pride. It is for that reason that I have set out to battle against this sinful characteristic of myself. I don't want to be useless to God and to furthering the Kingdom.

I have the confidence that He will overcome, and that I can overcome through Him.

Lord, live in me! Move into me, until all of me is gone and only you remain!!

Hello world! I am finally back from a too-long absence. I just finished up my busy season at work and I am SO GLAD to have some time to breathe.

I have been excited about the prospect of being able to post again. However, I am sitting here, waiting for inspiration to come. When I post my blogs, I write what I feel the Lord has placed on my heart and I feel the desire to share. What would he like me to share with you today? I'm getting nothing. But that does not discourage me. I don't think that God is inactive in my life because he hasn't inspired me with "deep thoughts" to share with you guys! I see him and feel him every day! He is here!

Trust me and trust deeply in God. He is working in your life too, even though you may not see the results just yet. Be patient. Keep talking to him and trusting in him. I will refer you to a recent post by Theophileous, "Got God?". Basically, not only is God alive and in our lives today, but you can call on him in your time of need AND when times are good.

He is here!

(Reference to My Guide to Loving Relationships by Theophileous, Tues. April 11, 2006, "Got God? http://lovingrelationships.blogstream.com/)

Thank you Lord Jesus for Life, Love, and Laughter. Thank you for all the people in my life that make it worth living. Thank you for dying on a horrible cross to set me Free. Thank you for your grace and mercy that you generously pour on me. Thank you for Peace and Strength that can only come from your Holy Spirit. Thank you for blessing us with the freedom to worship and praise you freely, anytime, anywhere (and especially for the worship and praise that you filled me with this morning on the drive to work). Thank you for our brothers and sisters and the sacrifices they make in your name. Thank you for your inexhaustible Love and Joy. Keep it coming! Continue to bless our lives with your Holy Spirit. May we always hunger for you and thirst for the Living Water.

Thank you.