Do you ever just wake up in the morning and everything goes wrong? Like it is a sign from the very start of the day that this one will not be a good one. I've had bad days that get worse. I've had great days that go bad. I've had bad mornings that turn out well in the end. I'm hoping today is the 3rd option. I hope it gets better.

One thing about bad days is that no matter how alone or out-of-control or wronged I feel, I always have someone I can cry to and talk it out with.

This morning as soon as I woke up I was a victim. This person here takes advantage of me at work. Another person there is mad at me for nothing. Even my own spouse doesn't appreciate all the hard work and things I do for him and our relationship. (Boo hoo, right?) I spent a solid 2 hours feeling sorry for myself and crying out my pains to Jesus and he listened patiently to me and let me get it out. Then he very subtly showed me the ways that I was using all of those things as an excuse to feel sorry for myself. By the end of the 3rd hour I basically had to go apologize to everyone I had seen so far and admit that I had taken things too far. They may in fact be guilty of wrong-doing, but I am the one who consciously decided to let it affect me so completely and then let things spin out of control and only make matters worse in my relationships.

The thing I appreciate most is the fact that my Lord never throws my horrible behavior in my face and mocks me for it. Like I did with someone this morning, he never finds my faults and displays them for all the world to see and then mercilessly taunts me about it. He first listens to my griping and lets me get it off my chest, and then quietly whispers to me. After all, does anyone actually respond favorably to being told they're wrong in such a humiliating way? No matter how many times we treat people like that, it never works.

I apologize if this blog doesn't make sense to anyone but me. You know how when things are so fresh you are still not able to put your thoughts together in a way that anyone else might be able to comprehend it? I am still a bit shaken having seen how horribly I have been acting. But I am thankful for being shown. I am just sorry to have found out the hard way.

Today, my prayer for all you nice people reading my blog is that God takes your bad days and uses them to show you his kindness and his mercy. That he gives you a glimpse of how much he truly loves you by listening to your ranting and raving and comforts your anger and sadness. I pray that his peace will fill you and he will give you the strength to see the truth about yourself and your relationships.

May God bless you today.